Tattered and Torn
by ValentineDeRosa
Summary: My first story on this website, now I shall commence my final form as a nervous wreck. I apologize in advance if this isn't the amazing fanfic you would expect for a story, though I do hope to take you all on a journey with my take on Commander Shepard. Post-Reaper war, Destroy ending, and Garrus has been romanced here. Honest Opinions are very much welcomed.


It was almost as if her breathing echoed endlessly, almost as if Earth had been replaced with some dark empty void.

As her eyes slowly fluttered open, she was greeted with just that. Darkness.

It was almost as if she had never opened her eyes. The darkness she was greeted with when her eyes were opened matched the same shade of black as when her eyes were closed. It was almost as if her mind was playing some cold trick on her. Her head shifted from left to right, and she was greeted with nothing but the same empty abyss she had woken up to.

Was she dead?

Wherever she was, it didn't fit the description of either Heaven or Hell. She didn't see any shining light in the distance, like she had been promised if she lived her life with a good heart. Her blood hadn't begun to boil and her skin didn't burn from a thousand flames, like she had been promised if she lived her life with an ugly heart.

Just darkness and emptiness.

Perhaps she wasn't good enough, nor was she bad enough. Perhaps she didn't deserve Heaven or Hell. Perhaps she was just physically seeing what she had been feeling ever since she was 16. Perhaps she was destined to stare back at her own dark abyss. Perhaps she just wasn't enough.

No. She refused to believe she was dead. She could still feel the soreness of her muscles, she could still feel the blood trickling from her nose and lips, she could still feeling the bruises on her skin becoming ripe with an almost dead feeling. She felt very much alive.

"Annie..." A voice coming from nowhere was heard.

A voice? A voice in such a place? She hadn't heard that name in years. She couldn't be alive, no one she knows now referred to her by that name. Or maybe it was another one of those sick nightmares that plagued her ever since the attack on Earth...

Earth... The Crucible... Could it be that she really was...

"Annie..." The voice called out once again, more clearly than before.

Her sore eyes shot open despite the darkness, her hands and legs springing to action. That was when she had realized was lying down on some dark floor that matched the mysterious sky. Her red hair fell forward as she brought her hands and knees on the cold, hard floor. Her eyes just stayed focused on the floor, the same shade of black that she had become all too familiar with for the past minute. _God, where am I?_

Her elbows and knees began to wobble uncontrollably. She let out a cry as her joints gave out, not being able to support her weight. Her breathing became heavy, the cold abyss suddenly became very hot for her as she propped herself up on her elbows. Her shoulders began to shake as well, the muscles in her body began to rebel as she used every ounce of power she had in her to crawl a few inches.

"Annie... please..." The voice was much closer; her soft and gentle voice was enough to form a lump in the Commander's throat that she just couldn't ignore.

"Mom..!" She cried out in pain as her muscles refused to let her go any further. Her eyes were shut tight was tears that she had been holding in for so many years just slipped through the thin barriar of her eyelids. "Mom..." she pleaded once more as her head hit the ground below her, unable to move any further.

Her forehead was damp from both sweat and blood, as her tears began to soak her cheeks and lips. She had never felt as vulnerable in years, her heart had never felt this strained and empty, her brain had never felt this disintegrated. A feeling that she had felt only once in her life time.

And that was long ago, when she lost them.

"Annie, look at me..."

Her eyes slowly flew open, letting the last of her tears drip down her cheeks before bringing her face back up... to be greeted by a pair of green eyes. The same shade as hers.

Her long blonde hair that she envied all her childhood was in a messy French braid, falling loosely over her shoulder. Her rosy cheeks crinkled up as her lips spread from cheek to cheek. Her sea green eyes began to shine at the sight of her daughter, just as her heart broke at the sight of her mother.

She tried once again. But this time the soreness of her arms and legs seemed to have just disappeared as she carefully stood up, her knees slightly shaking as she struggling to maintain her balance.

She looked like an angel; her mother had always seemed like an angel in her eyes. She had always strived to be like her mother, but no matter how many times she told herself that, she ended up becoming the female counterpart of her father.

They both just stood there, taking in the moment without actually doing anything. She was still trying to gather up what the hell was going on.

"The same girl..." her mother spoke before her daughter did, taking a long pause before continuing. "The same girl that used to run around in a fairy costume on Halloween, the same girl that used to pluck weeds from the ground and talk to animals... The same girl who used to hide behind her father during horror vids..."

The bulge had returned to the Commander's throat, her hands brought up to cover her mouth that was hung open in awe. The tears returned as well as she desperately tried to swallow them away. Her heart was shed in a million as she listened to her words. This wasn't a dream. This was really her mother.

Her mother's smile just broadened. "The same girl who came home crying from school because of bullies..." her voice cracked as she continued. "The same girl who I used to read books to at night... The same girl who I promised to follow through the darkest depths this universe can throw her way... just saved the goddamn galaxy."

She didn't know how, but in a split second later, she was in her mother's arms. Her head rested against her shoulder as they both desperately clung to each other.

"I'm sorry..." She cried into her shoulder, digging her nails into her clothing as she begged her mother forgiveness.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Annie" her mother whispered into her ear, brushing her dirty red hair with her fingers. "If it takes losing the ones you love away from you to reach your destiny, then that isn't for you and I to decide."

Her mother pulled away and placed her hands gently on her shoulders, tilting her chin up to look at her. "Anais Hope Shepard, Savior of the Citadel, First Human Specter, Hero of the Galaxy... I am proud of you."

Hearing those words made fresh tears stream down her cheek. Her mother wiped them away with her thumbs, just like she did so many times when she was younger. She felt younger. She felt like a child again, her mother's words soothing her breaking heart.

"We don't have much time," her voice cracked again, hesitation visible in her eyes as the woman slowly began to take steps backwards. "You have to go back home."

"Wait... what?" she looked at her mother, slowly taking painful steps forwards only to have her mother appear farther and farther. The once empty dark abyss turned into a bright white abyss that was enough to blind her. The room suddenly became unbelievably loud; a thousand voices were speaking at once, all words she couldn't make out or understand. "Come back!" she called out, as she shielded her eyes and trudged forward.

"We'll be together again, I promise," her mother's voice was everywhere again, louder than the other voices that spoke at once. The place became even brighter; the voices began to sound more vague, she was sure they weren't voices anymore. "I love you."

"Mom!" She screamed out, trying to out-scream the millions of voices to no avail. "Come back!"

Then, almost at a fraction of her second, her muscles returned to their original state, and the numbness she felt in her bones and on her skin returned. Her cried out when she hit the floor with a strong thud. She was almost sure she should be coughing up blood by now. Her head felt as if it was in a million places at once, her heartbeat began to beat slower and slower, and her eyelids struggled to keep open.

"We're losing her!" A distant, unrecognizable voice was heard.

An unfathomable pain jolted through her chest and towards her heart and veins. She took in a strong gasp of air before blacking out once again.

Darkness greeted her.


End file.
